Monday

Well, we made it thru the weekend and Father's Day. What a strange thing that was. With my ex leaving 2 weeks before Father's Day, it just seemed strange to have him gone. He originally said he wanted to come home and celebrate the day with the girls. All three of them and I agreed that that was just too weird. On Thursday he texted me and called me also that he wanted to make sure the girls were sending him Father's Day cards. The poor guy really is messed up these days!
I finally posted on facebook my status change from married to single. That was also strange. I was having too many people contact me asking if things they had heard were true. What better way to let everyone know than by changing my status. Now everyone is clear. That upset the ex too, but oh well for him!
I don't know if I've laid out my new plans on here yet, but I'm feeling pretty good and set about things. Toward the end of summer, I will start looking for a good part time job. I'm thinking it will have to be retail, but that's ok temporarily. This fall I am signed up to take 4 medical classes (yuck) so that I can enroll in a medical billing and coding certificate program after that. That I can start in January. It's all online, so I can work during the day and do the classes online at night. It's a three semester program. I talked to my friend's husband who owns several MRI clinics and he thinks it's a good idea. He did say that the job was boring and I would get burned out soon, so keep taking classes to get my degree. He said there are lots of move up opportunities once I've got my degree. I never would have guessed that I would move into the medical field, but it seems like a good option for anyone in my position. It's boring office work, but I will have steady income, good benefits, and lots of opportunities to advance. I'm hoping that eventually I can work more on a part time level and also do my artwork. Wish me luck, it's going to be a tough few years, but oh so worth it.
One of my friends spent Friday morning with me getting me set up with a financial program so I can keep organized with the money. That has never happened in this house before! I feel very grown up lately.
The girls are doing well. I took them to go see Super 8 yesterday. It was surprisingly good. That's it for now.

That's it Then

Well yesterday morning I had to be at the courthouse at 9am with my attorney to file our temporary orders papers. It was a facinating experience, I've never been before a judge. Because my ex wasn't there, my attorney got me a really good deal and it was a very quick thing because it wasn't contested. I was kind of in a funk all day though. Reality is starting to settle in that I'm getting a divorce. I truly never wanted this to happen. Although I've been more than aware of my ex's problems for quite some time, I really have been content. I never wanted a big grand life. Happy with my average house, etc. I've never been too demanding, naggy, and all that. I've loved being home with my girls and taking care of them and our house. I've always been grateful and content. I feel betrayed. I kept our vowes for all these years. Our anniversary is August 26, this will be 21 years. Our final hearing is Dec. 12 and it's over. I hope he is happy to be done with us all. He destroyed everything, lost everything, and my home and he gets to move on with his life in Mississippi or where ever he ends up. I haven't worked in 20 years, am 48, and not valuable in the business community at all. I have to start over. So instead of complaining, I need to get moving. I need a job!!
I just registered for 4 classes at our local community college that I attend. I registered for basic human anatomy and physiology, pharmacology, pathophysiology (whatever that is), and medical terminology. YUCK to them all!!! lol
After I take these 4 classes, I can enroll in an online program that will enable me to become a medical coding and billing technician. It sounds like it will be hard work for me, I am an artist, not a science person, but I can do it. That should enable me to have at least a decent career making enough money to support myself over the years with decent benefits. Two of the classes I registered for don't even have times, location, days listed yet, but some of the classes are already closed so I had to jump on it and grab classes before they all close. I will have to check back daily to see if anything is posted if I need to make changes. At least I am registered for the 4 I need.
I'm hoping that with a part time job somewhere, doing free lance design work here and there, and selling my things on Etsy, I can keep going with the money my ex needs to send. Problem is getting him to send it!! He has a court order now, well will tomorrow anyway. But we shall see.
I must remain positive!!!

Monday Mornings

The Dallas Mavericks won the NBA National Championship last night!! It has been an exciting series to watch. So well deserved and the team's first time to win!!
Yesterday at 3pm I met my friend Debbie for coffee at Einstein Bagels. We had a lovely talk about what's been going on with me (mostly) and also catching up on her life. We have played Mah Jongg together for about 6 years now, but this was the first time just the two of us got together. It was nice to talk to her because she has been a single mom for many years. The coffee that late in the afternoon kept me up all night though!! I barely slept and I have a lot to do today. Tomorrow morning is my court hearing before the judge for "temporary orders". I am nervous about it. I've never been in front of a judge before and my attorney told me not to bring up the Chapter 13 no matter what. That almost guarantees that I will bring it up!! lol
So my soon to be ex and I had a nice chat yesterday. I am not giving names right away as I think it will be easier for me to put my thoughts down more freely if I am somewhat anonymous. For ease of typing I am going to call him my ex even though the divorce is in it's beginning stages. He left 10 days ago and has been telling the girls that he will be home for a visit next weekend which is Father's Day weekend. Understandably, they have been feeling extremely uneasy about that, but haven't wanted get him upset. My oldest is down right mad at her dad after finding out what kind of person he really is. You see, he has a severe truth issue and a severe responsibility issue. He has put us thru bankruptcy not once, but twice. He mismanaged our business so badly that we had to discontinue it, he took my daughters $75 thousand inheritance, had my car repossessed, and oh yeah, our house is about to fall into foreclosure. Those are just the main financial problems I am talking about. This man has been touting the praises of financial responsibility for years and constantly preaches to the girls about how much of a fiscal conservative he is. My blame in this whole farce is that I have been keeping his secret for years. I think for many reasons, but the main reason has always been that I never wanted the girls to know what kind of dad they really had. I guess now it's too late, they are finding out daily and not too happy.
The girls and I talked about his impending visit and they seemed very relieved that I would talk to him. Also, I have been getting several calls a day from a credit agency looking for $585 that he owes Sprint. They keep reminding me that Texas is a community property state and that I am also responsible for it. Yes. I know. Thank you!
I have been honest with the girls about everything since he left, and we all agree that the right thing to do (although that is a foreign concept to him) is to pay Sprint instead of spending money that we don't have for him to come home this coming weekend and force the girls to pretend that he is Father of the Year. They were very relieved that he agreed to postpone his visit until the following week. Now they can just send him a card in the mail. Can you imagine your father leaving you and coming for a visit two weeks later on Father's Day and expecting to have a fun Father's Day celebration? That's the fantasy world in which he is living. He really thinks he hasn't done much wrong and that everything is just fine.
It's going to be 100 degrees today. It's an early hot summer here in Dallas, Texas. But we are champions!!

Title Clarification

It occured to me that I forgot to clarify the title of my blog yesterday. So here it is: Friday, June 13, 1975 is the date my mother abandoned my brother and me. I remember that day really clearly and I think it has been the single most life changing day in my life so far. Maybe it shouldn't be, but I think it molded me into who I am now.
Friday, June 3, 2011 is the date my husband got in a truck with our business and moved himself and the family dog to Mississippi. That was one week ago. It was a weird, strange day to say the least. The girls and I are coping, but last night my 13 year old had a pretty bad tantrum and she really let loose on me. She is still sleeping, so I am hoping today will be better.
As per my father's wishes, I filed for divorce a week and a half ago and my husband was served the Tuesday before he left. I have a meeting today with my divorce attorney which I am not prepared for at all. I am feeling pushed and pulled in so many directions right now. You see, on Monday, May 9th, my husband comes to me and says we are about to loose the house in forclosure and by the way he is moving out of state. What? I have lots to tell about this ever changing story, but I didn't know things had gotten nearly this bad.
So today I am going to spend much of my time going thru boxes of old papers, looking thru our bank records, calling my husband, etc. to try and come up with "financials" to give to the attorney. The problem is I haven't been able to access anything pertaining to our financial life for several years. Everything has been password protected and my husband pounces on the mail within minutes of it's daily arrival. He hasn't kept any kind of records ever in his life, so this is quite a challenge. Also, did I mention we are in Chapter 13 bankrupcy and apparently owe approx. $32,000 in back taxes and mortgage payments on my house? My husband is self employed and worked out of our house for years. He has been in a severe depression or something over the past few years and has been working less and less and drinking beer more and more. He is barely making any money right now and I'm supposed to tell the court how much money he has to send us each month? There isn't any money to send. I don't work, I haven't in almost 20 years. I have an Associate of Arts degree only. I think my girls and I are screwed. Period. I need lots of prayers right now. So it's time to stop writing and get to work on my "financials".

Thursday 6/9/2011

So, like many people these days, I've thought about starting a blog. With what's happened to me over the past month I figure this is the perfect time to start since my entire life is up in the air right now.
I'll start with the basics. I am a white 48 year old stay at home mother to three teenage girls. I am Jewish and am fairly involved with my synagogue. I attend services fairly regularly and I try on a daily basis to be a good person. I live in Plano, Texas, just north of Dallas. I'm originally from California. I've been in Texas for 19 + years. I moved here pregnant with my oldest daughter. We moved here from San Diego (can you believe it?) because my husband's family was here and he was going to start working with his dad. I never thought I would end up in Texas, but wanted my child to have family around all the time, so it seemed like an easy decision.
We eventually had 3 girls and while my in laws were wonderful grandparents to my girls, they both passed away within a few years of each other. It has been 8 1/2 years since my girls have had their grandparents. We don't have other family here. Well, that's not true. My sister in law lives here, but my husband and her don't have a relationship.
I do have a large group of the most wonderful friends in the world here. I don't know how I would get by here without them. Although my family is very small, I miss them all the time. They all live in California. My parents have been divorced since I was 12 and they are both only children. Of my 4 grandparents, 1 was an only child, 1 had a brother who was institutionalized his entire life and never had children of his own, 1 had one brother who never married and never had a child of his own, and 1 appently had several siblings but was astrangled from them all. That leaves a total of no extended family! My Mom and her husband live in San Diego but they travel in an RV for several months of the year. My mom has a travel blog that she does while on the road. She does a really nice job. It's fun to follow where she is going with her stories and beautiful pictures. My Dad and his wife live in my hometown of Nevada City in Northern California. Both of my parents are very active and healthy and I miss them. My brother and his family also live in my hometown. He has two beautiful teenage girls. He and his wife are separated, but I think they get along pretty well. I miss them too.
I will stop now and take a break as there is so much to write, I don't know which way to begin.